the big decision...

well, most of you know that ive been faced to make the big decision of whether to stay in Shell for another year to teach...or go back home and find a job there...if you have talked to me since last august, you know that this decision has constantly been on my mind...bc i knew that i was going to have to make this extremely difficult decision at this time! it was so hard for me because more than anything, i want to follow God's will and didnt want to make a decision that was going to be somthing that was not in his will..and if you have ever made a decision based on that...its hard bc sometimes God doesent tell you...and it is very blurry...everyone here knew how the decision was tearing me apart bc i miss my family and friends so much, but i also love it here too...i literally was really sick for a week, and i look back and am almost sure that this stress was making me sick! i was tired all of the time and just not my normal great self :) hehe

anyways...a few days before i knew i was going to have to decide, i thought for sure i was going home, bc i really missed home a lot, and if you know me, you know that i have never been homesick before...so it was really catching me off guard, and i was taking it as a sign from God...but the DAY before i had to tell the school board, for some reason, i just was feeling this consuming peace about staying here...and when i tried to think about going home, i literally could not...its as if God was blocking that thought out of my mind...which is a total answer to prayer becuase i was praying that he would make it clear...and i know others were praying that too! so praise God...even though it was the day before...he made it clear to me that i need to stay another year...and that i dont need to worry bc he is in complete control....so yeah! i am staying another year! i can and cant believe it...im really excited for what God has in store, and if anything, im just glad that I am where he wants me!

heres a verse that God has revealed to me as He has led me to this decision: matthew 10:34-39 (the message)
"Dont think Ive come to make life cozy. Ive come to cut--make a sharp knife cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother - in - law-- cut through to cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well meaning family memebers can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you dont deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you dont deserve me. If you dont go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you dont deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, youll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, youll find both yourself and me."

so...im looking forward to going home this summer and spend some time with the fam and making some money! and its good bc this summer is a long summer for our school year..so i dont need to be back until after whitney davis' wedding in teh beginning of september!

if you have heard about the "End of the Spear" movie...it is about the 5 guys who came down here to ecuador to witness to the Waroni indians...and if it wasnt for them, i wouldnt be here..bc Shell, where i live was like their home base..and my school is called Nate Saint Memorial School, named after nate saint, the pilot who died! go and see it!

much love! eat healthy! eileen